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亚博体育app下载苹果










我冒着寒冷,养育甜蜜的小金。除了Goldie外,我们都陷入了寒冷,谢天谢地。所有人都可以,用两个孩子调整生命。我在这里写下这一天的戈德几乎在2019年8月25日几个月前进入了世界。我觉得记录这是迫切的,因为分娩很快成为一个模糊的记忆。思考回到四个星期天之前......

Goldie was late. Her due date was August 16th, and my doctor and I decided to schedule an appointment to be induced exactly two weeks after her due date if she didn’t come on her own. I felt a little bummed about this, but knew it was the right thing to do. I actually felt like her not coming was my fault, as we were in the middle of moving (we bought out first house!) and I had a lot of work to do with my business. I didn’t want her to come yet until we were all moved out of our rental home, cleaned it, and moved all our stuff into the new house. Maybe subconsciously I was saying, ‘we’re not ready for you yet.’

After hearing induction was the next step and we had somewhat finished moving (our stuff was still mostly in boxes), I started focusing on her and her arrival. Saturday night, the night before she was born, I talked to her. I said, ‘We’re ready for you. We want you here. Please come, we are so excited to meet you.’ All night long I dreamt of going into labor on my own.

Sunday morning I’d planned for my friend Nicole to come over so I could shoot her in my newest clothing. Shortly before she got to our house, around 10 AM, I started having really mellow contractions! (Interestingly, I went into labor around the same time of day and the same day of the week with Shep.) I didn’t get too excited, because I heard labor can stop and start, and it could even be false labor. When I went to the bathroom and had bloody show (grossest term ever!) I knew things were happening. I pictured myself being scared when contractions began, because, well, labor is kinda scary. It’s intense and unknown, even though I’ve birthed a baby before. But because I knew of a looming induction appointment, going into labor on my own was very welcome and positive! It set the tone for my entire experience that day. It was a labor that began with gratitude.

帕特里克·妮可的衣服,而我的直接ed’ the low key shoot. Nicole was THE BEST advocate to have around during the early stages of labor. She birthed her son Alex at home without any pain relief, and kept telling me ow strong I was, and how amazing I was doing. She was like my pre-birth doula! We wrapped up the shoot, Nicole left us some delicious food for after delivery, and I hugged my sister friend goodbye.

Goldie必须真的善于了解她的时机,因为尼科尔离开了收缩开始加剧并在一起越来越近。我定时了他们,分开了大约2-3分钟,持续了45秒。另一个美丽的神圣时机的例子是我的妈妈在那天拍摄时在我们拍摄时观看SHEP!所以她已经在那里帮助我们并与我们一起去医院。我们都进了车,开车15分钟路到夏洛特洪匈福德医院。

When we got to the hospital there was like no one there (it’s a very small town hospital). The front desk was empty so we went right up the elevator to the maternity ward, floor three. Upon arriving at the desk I leaned on the counter with both arms and said, ‘I’m here to have my baby.’ The nurses were so nice and got me set up in a beautiful large room overlooking the hills. It felt comfortable, relaxed, but ugh I still felt nervous about what I had to do there. My Mom brought some new toys for Shep and he was pretty content to play with her and eat pretzels from a vending machine. I felt good knowing Shep was cared for and happy as could be.

所有的做法我去医生不是随叫随到,所以我听到巴克斯特博士在她的途中有点不高兴。她是谁?!当所有护士都说我是多么幸运的时候,我要幸运的是,我是贝尔特博士的交付,她是最好的。好的......我想,我们会看到。While we waited for her the nurses got me as comfortable as possible in the bed, set up a port in case I needed anything during delivery, asked me 100 questions between contractions because I wasn’t in their system yet, and monitored Goldie’s heart beat. I will always remember the sound of my babies’ heartbeats during delivery. The pumping, energetic whoosh whooshing sound is like the most beautiful music to my ears, but also the sound of pending massive change ahead. So reassuring, but also so intimidating.

Dr. Baxter came right in while still wearing her everyday clothes, making her feel more like a human being and not some doctor I’ve never met. Her presence was both nurturing and authoritative, I trusted her immediately. She touched my arm when she talked to me, and I literally felt in good hands.At this point I had bulging membranes and was 8 cm dilated, only about three hours after my labor began. Fast!

我有一些选项,但是戈尔迪已经好了her way. I could try for an epidural, but there was no guarantee I would get it in time. I also felt like I wasn’t in such a state that I needed one. With Shep I labored for 30 hours and my contractions were so so close together that I knew I’d be up all night and exhausted if I didn’t get pain relief. The contractions hurt like hell, but I’d only been at it for a few hours and it was daytime. I also wanted to know what labor really felt like because with Shep I feel like I got to cheat! Not in a bad way and I have no regrets, but my ideal birth this time around was unmedicated and hopefully faster than my first! With some doubts and fear I said ‘No, I don’t need an epidural.’

The next option Dr. Baxter gave me was to break my water. The membranes were already bulging, I was 8 cm dilated. Breaking the water would speed things along, or else I could stay where I was for hours. The contractions were getting pretty painful, and with my labor with Shep I would’ve had him probably a day earlier if we had broken my water sooner (we broke it at like hour 24). So this one I said yes to.

Dr. Baxter said she was going to her changed into scrubs and be right back to break my water. Shep, my Mom, and Patrick all hung out as I went through a few more contractions. Dr. Baxter came back shortly and broke my water. She said she’d come again when I felt ready to push. Next contraction was INSANE. Trembling to your core, earth shattering pain. I was ready to push immediately. I called the nurses in, they called in the Dr., and on the next contraction we started pushing. The nurses held my legs up in a squatting position that drove me nuts, but felt most efficient.

I forgot how to push. We did around three sets of pushes per contraction, 10 seconds each. It’s the weirdest feeling, inhaling and holding your breath, and then pushing before you exhale. Dr Baxter said, imagine you’re underwater about to take the biggest poop of your life. Nooooo haha!!! How awful! By the next contraction I started to remember how it went and my pushes became more effective. I thought contractions hurt, but oh my God, the pushing is infinitely infinitely more intense. By the third contraction of pushing I just wanted this done. I knew if I pushed harder it’d be over faster. I could barely think of Goldie, I just wanted the pain to end. The fourth contraction we were moving her head out, and fuck, this was SEARING pain. Throbbing, legs shaking, toes trembling. I was on fire, I felt like a cartoon character about to blow my red head off with smoke coming out my ears.

AND THEN they told me to slow it down. Just when I was ready to blast Goldie out of me like a cannonball, they said I needed to hold the volcano in my groin so I didn’t tear my vagina in half. I had to sit with the fire while they stretched my vagina with their hands and pushed the rest of her out of me slowly. Patrick said he had no idea you could pull on a vagina like that, ha it was amazing. It was worth it, I didn’t need any stitches. But I did poop, and Goldie did too. Pat was happy, and disgusted.

Shep and my mom had left the room when we started the active labor, and they came back in minutes after Goldie was born. There was no drama with getting Shep out, and because the labor was so short, Shep had fun running around the hallways with my mom. He didn’t even have time to miss me or ask to come back in. It was perfect. Goldie again, nailing the timing. From start to finish labor was only around 5 hours. My girl waited to come until the time was right, and also gave me my ideal birth, fast and powerful. I am already so grateful for her. She seemed to know just what we needed.

万寿菊戈尔迪的安妮·阿勒斯在这里!出生在3:12PM, 7 lbs 5 oz, 20” long. In perfect health, except for some wrinkly hands from being in the womb for 41 weeks. She was so much bigger and redder than I remembered Shep being. Oh yeah, she also had her cord around her neck and they cut it while she was on her way out of me because it was choking her with my pushes. Cord knots and cords around necks have always worried me, so it was crazy to have it happen, and have the nurses so nonchalantly cut it and continue on. It took Goldie a few seconds to start crying when they placed her on my chest. When the cries started I felt so so relieved, unlike with Shep I wanted him to stop crying. As a second time parent I felt the crying to be reassuring and normal. Goldie and I cuddled and practiced nursing for about a half hour. I looked out the windows on the hills and saw eagles flying until the sun went down.

在高迪的脸看起来像一个老灵魂, as cliche as that sounds. She just looked like she’d been here before. At one point Pat was rocking her in a rocking chair and her face just cracked me up, she looked... bored! So funny. That night and the next day were so special. I really appreciated just getting to lay in bed, breastfeed, and eat :) Patrick had to entertain Shep with only a few toys and an iPad, so he was eager to go home.

我们在24小时内离开了医院,让我失望。但是我们作为一个四口之家,我们的宝贵的小金。我已经爱上了她的幽默感,她的胖乎乎的身体,她的拥抱,当然我喜欢她爱我的多!我每天都在我旁边让她在我身边,而且没有比这更好的感觉。把她抱在怀里我觉得完整。我的家人都在这里。我们非常幸运的是爱,这个小家庭!谢谢Goldie成为你,并选择我们永远爱你和关心你。

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34 weeks!




Time is really going by quickly now! I feel about ready to give birth haha. I know it's too early, but she feels so big,Ifeel so big, it almost feels time. I think I was about this large when I gave birth to Shep. At my last ultrasound Goldie was measuring 75th percentile, which is so surprising, as Shep always measured super tiny. You kinda think your next pregnancy will be just like the first, but not the case. Your children really are who they are, regardless of what you do (or what you're eating!). I've gained 23 lbs so far, about the same-ish as Shep pregnancy.

All is going smoothly! Not too much to report. I have mild heartburn, nausea when I lay on my back or am in the car for a while, can't eat too much in one sitting, twitchy annoying legs that keep me up at night, a fat ass and thighs haha with new cellulite, boobs feel huge, hemorrhoid went away! So I guess you could say things are going well! I feel very lucky. Goldie is REALLY active, I won't complain about that. But so much kicking, it's a bit much LOL.

Speaking of Goldie, Pat is not sold on the name, but I believe he'll come around. I'm trying to compromise with her full name being Marigold, so she can choose later if she wants the nickname. Patrick just has NO names, and Sheppy and I have been calling her Goldie for a long time, I don't think we can let it go. Girls names are tough for us, we had so many boys names, but girls... really none.

We've been struggling here with sleep as Shep has an allergic reaction rash on his hands and feet that causes him to wake up a lot, crying and itching. I'm hoping this will resolve before baby comes. I'm probably most worried about how we'll all continue to sleep together! Shep and I have been holding each other at night for almost the past four years, and I cherish it. We won't be kicking him out of our bed anytime soon, but I worry about him near a newborn. I know he'll have to sleep more with his Dad, and they might even have to leave the room to sleep if Goldie cries a lot. So it's totally unknown of course, I suppose that's the scary part! I have no idea what will happen. But I know in my heart it'll all be ok.

I have some mild nausea as I type this! I'm going to go make some eggs :) Next time I check in Goldie will probably be here! :)

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28周!



你好!Well, things sure have changed in the past two months. Nothing serious! Lucky for me. But more like... inconveniences. I took for granted with Shep's pregnancy that I didn't have really anything too uncomfortable. The worst of it was heartburn, which didn't even happen until the last couple weeks of pregnancy. I have heartburn starting now, at 28 weeks. It's not bad yet, but I can feel it starting, that burning in the back of my throat when I lay down. Oh yeah, I also still have waves of nausea. They go away quickly, but they come over me unexpectedly, and I feel myself groaning/sighing almost involuntarily. I feel sick sitting in the car, laying on my back, when I need more water, very early in the morning when I can't sleep. These are all the things I feel safe talking about with others.

The things I don't want to talk about are... well, pretty gross. It took me a few days before I could even speak the word aloud to anyone, but it's hemorrhoid, aka piles, aka who in the fuck doctor/scientist was like, yes, let's also call this condition 'piles'. I told my Mom it's also called this and she was like 'ohhhh.. how many will pile up?' It's making me laugh now, it's out in the open and I can take care of it, but still, it's not a hot topic on BabyCenter forums or something women share with each other. I know it's pretty common, so I wanted to share it with any other mamas reading so they know they're not alone and it's not something we have to hide because it's not "cute", like swollen fingers. So... my veins below my belly are just not having it this time. I've got the H (just one, now that's cute, right?!), round ligament variscosity, and vulvar variscosity. Basically, it's all collapsing, the veins are maxed out. Already, at 28 weeks. I absolutely understand though I'm lucky, none of this affects Goldie, it's just something I need to get through. Epsom salt baths every night are the highlight of my day.

I am enjoying how active baby is! She kicks a lot, she's already low key. I don't have the time to reflect on her as much as I did Shep, she fits in with our lives, as I know she will when she's born. I have a feeling Shep will be the bigger baby of the two as time goes on. He enjoys it I think! I am treasuring my time with him, he's been such a little sweetie. He kisses my belly a lot and says he loves Goldie, and he loves me so much. I have such a richness in love, Shep couldn't be any more affectionate. I got him to stop nursing at night! So that's headed in the right direction to exclusively nurse Goldie, and he really only nurses in the day if he's tired or exceptionally grumpy. His favorite thing is to cuddle with my belly. I can't imagine a nicer big brother!

三个月以后她会生!感觉太soon, and too long at the same time because of my body. I feel REALLY old lately. Kinda beat. I don't know how people have a bunch of kids. This is most likely it for me. 35 in childbearing years feels like 60. I'm trying my hardest to enjoy these days of having a baby within me, it's an experience that's indescribable. I know I'll miss it and long for it again someday. With all the pains and inconveniences, it's still a holy and precious time, a time to not be taken for granted and wished to be over. Fertility is such a short window in a woman's life, I want to soak it all up, hemorrhoid and all.


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21Weeks!




It looks like we're halfway there! Things are going as well as they can, I think! My biggest complaints are some leg cramps when I'm laying in bed at night, still some nausea here and there, and my round ligament varicosities in my groin :/ Basically my ligaments just below my belly are wrapped with veins that are strained and pooling blood. So there are two little lumps there that are minorly painful and I have to be careful not to bang myself into anything or they could explode. LOL pretty stuff huh?! Now that that's out of the way... the good things!

I had my more detailed fetal anatomy ultrasound 2 weeks ago and Goldie is perfect! PHEW! Patrick was sick that day and couldn't accompany me with Shep, so I had to go to myself. This was the first prenatal appointment I've gone to without my support crew, so I felt more nervous than usual. It's just nerve-wracking to wait as they scan every organ, saying little prayers to myself that each section is ok. Once it was over I appreciated getting to see our little girl's brain, heart, face, limbs, etc, but in that moment I was just sweating. I don't remember being that nervous with Shep's fetal anatomy ultrasound, but it also feels like a long time ago, so who knows! She is measuring big for her age, which is kinda crazy because Shep always measured small. Her head looked big to me. Haha! She's super active and kicks a lot. All good news there.

I think I am bigger when I compare myself to photos of my first preg around this time. I've gained 15 lbs. I don't feel as attached to my body as my first pregnancy, because I know it will do what it will do regardless of how I mentally fight against it, and my body will bounce back to what it was, as it does. There's just more trust and understanding with the process. It's all so incredible and I feel insanely lucky to be getting to do this again, and to be healthy throughout it. I do miss Dr. Chang! I have a team of doctors at the clinic I use, so any of the three of them could deliver, or if for whatever reason they can't, it'll be someone I've never met at the hospital. I like one of them much more than the others, so I hope I get lucky and get her. I feel more like我是delivering her this time, I've experienced it before and it'll all be ok.

Shep has been hovering around me this whole time, so my writing feels subpar. He's asking me what ice cream flavor I want, he has an ice cream shop. Every time he sees my tummy he gives it a kiss and asks how Goldie is going to get out. He is soooo into me right now, attached and loving and maybe even a little obsessed, but I do think he'll be an awesome big brother. My biggest worry is how to share myself with both and still give Shep the love and attention he needs. Instead of reading birthing books I need some sibling books. Any recommendations? Ok I gotta go now, I gotta eat my rainbow ice cream ;)

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15 Weeks Pregnant With Baby Girl!



你好!好吧,我们有另一个宝宝!就在本周,我开始在第5周开始的时钟恶心。上帝吮吸。不想吃饭,而食物让你想呕吐是一个可怕的事情。我在第9周的Diclegis上了,所以这是我的救主。说实话,这个怀孕比SHEP更难。随着Sheppy我非常生病了两周,这是一个不糟糕,但它不会戒烟。这只是这种潜在的疲惫,厌恶大多数食物,恶心,并且实际上只是生活中的一般令人厌恶,对于任何不好的事情。通过我的意思是我无法阅读,观看或倾听任何具有恐惧,消极性或创伤的任何东西。我猜这不是一件坏事,只想要什么是美丽和快乐的。 I've read 'Little Women', 'Pride and Prejudice', and now I'm reading 'The Lost World', and even that is a bit too much for me! Whatevs I guess, just rolling with what I got!

我是going to just write what I feel like for this pregnancy rather than the same format each time. Today we are 14 weeks 5 days, rounding up to 15 weeks ;). Also, today is my sister Kate's birthday! Happy Birthday lil gil! I'm looking at photos of myself around this point when I was pregnant with Shep and I don't think I look that different. Maybe a little bigger? I put on maternity pants for the first time to take this photo, and I'm reminded... YES! Maternity clothes are GOOD. Haha! I was trying to squeeze into my jeans the other day when I didn't feel like wearing leggings, and it was not comfortable at all.

上周我们的宝宝没有任何遗传异常(至少他们可以测试的遗传异常),这是一个女孩!我们真的希望一个女孩,得到一个人,并感到很幸运能够得到我们的愿望。体验完全不同的世界,不同的玩具,不同的大脑真的很有趣!我认为sheppy将是一个非常甜蜜的大哥,希望大多数时候。

Shep is pretty neutral on the baby. He has really taken to the name I want, Goldie. When I mention 'the baby sister' or 'baby girl', he says 'I want Goldie!'. The gender seems to bug him, he just wants our Goldie. He sometimes will kiss my stomach and say hi to her, or asks why she can't come out and play now, will she cry?, and he says he's willing to share milk with her. Haha, yea, I'm one of those weirdos that's still nursing. I know it's not weird in other parts of the world, and it's still beneficial for immunity and it definitely bonds us, just most people I tell are...surprised. LOL. I understand it's really quite impossible to understand until you're the one in it. My friend Ianthe told me when I was preg with Shep she nursed her daughter until age four, and at that time I was like... OMG, no. But it's just... such a part of our relationship, and it's crazy you have to assure people it's not sexual, but it's not. It's just normal. It's all normal. But I'd like to be near the end of this sweet nursing journey with him when Goldie comes.

Goldie Lucy Allers。这是我希望的名字,试图在船上拍拍!他不确定它。我们会看到!到目前为止,她看起来不错,我已经觉得她踢了!我正在照顾我们,练习瑜伽,冥想,尽可能健康地吃饱,跑步慢慢地,走路,雪鞋。我从来不知道雪橇在载体中的SHEP是如此激烈的锻炼。但这就像我生命中曾经做过的最艰难的事情就像我的生活中哈哈。我即将去做吧,我害怕它。但是当我完成的时候,回到房子伸展时,就是欣喜若狂!

I think the only food I crave is soft cheese. Like creamy, liquidy, French cheeses. I could eat them all day. Then I remembered you're not supposed to eat soft cheese. Hmmmm... now I just heat them in the oven on bread. So good. I also enjoy coffee. And citrus. I don't like most vegetables or meats.

我是really excited to get to the beloved second trimester, which has already started. But I'm still not quite there physically. I think in a week or so I'll have more energy and appetite. Overall I feel so blessed to be doing this again, probably for the last time. I've never really felt old until now. Fertility is such a small window, especially these days when we don't want to get pregnant until after our careers have begun and have had time with our partners. It's definitely harder on the body as you age. I don't think I'd want to attempt this at 40. I'll update in a few weeks! Much love!

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